Yesterday I was putting my papers in order when I stumbled upon some notes I wrote during a leadership training I participated in few years ago. It was about what it means to be sure of yourself. I thought I'd share them with you as a short sum-up of the subject.

A person sure of herself:

  • Speaks loud and clear

  • Expresses his feelings

  • Expresses her wishes loud and clear

  • An unspoken wish does not exist.

  • An unsure person is afraid to express his wishes because of fear of criticism or refusal.

  • Knows how to say NO

  • *Personal note: I've discovered that it is much easier to say NO when you are prepared. By that, I mean you know your objectives and you have a course charted to accomplish them. If you have a plan, it's easier to estimate your resources and availability and whether what you are asked to do benefits you as well. *

  • Is capable of criticism

  • Positive statement + criticism

  • Express emotion + criticism

  • Express solutions + criticism

  • Descriptive and precise

  • Reacts positively to criticism

  • Criticism is seen as information

  • Asks for more details and rephrases to make sure he understands

  • Asks for advice

  • Expresses her emotions when critics is overwhelming

  • Can decide whether to use the other person as mentor

  • Allows himself to make mistakes

  • Any mistake is seen as an experience that can be overtaken

  • Any mistake does not say about me that I've embarrassed myself forever

  • Is capable of asking for help

  • Only the strong ones ask for help

  • Hiding a weakness and not asking for help attracts attention

  • Is capable of self-presentation

  • Visual contact, distance between individuals, movement, speed of speech, loudness of speech, content of speech

As a side note, all the above traits transcend the One Minute Manager's story:

The One Minute Manager

http://www.amazon.com/Minute-Manager-Ph-D-Kenneth-Blanchard/dp/0425098478